Loving Mom’s ADD / ADHD Story

I >am just beginning to realize that my son, who is now 4 years old, is living with what is called ADHD. I have been suspicious of this for the past 2 years but he was actually born very very active and very very sensitive to his surroundings. I thought that he was colicy as an infant, nothing seemed to calm him and none of the doctors helped. 

I have worked in the social services business for the past 2 1/2 years and have seen children come and go with both diagnoses of ADD and ADHD. I thought that the psycologists and psyciatrists were “overdiagnosing” these cases. I also thought that they were just “labeling” the children that parents didn’t have control over. I have said many times in my life that the parents “just needed to take control and not let the child control them” or “if they would just spank that child, he would listen”. I was wrong. Really wrong. 

I have done everything that I could think of and read all the books that I could get ahold of thinking that I would be able to change what I am doing and that would make everything better. Wrong. My child is just the way he is and I believe that I am going to have to live with this. I have to try to find alternative ways of directing him and teaching him. He is extremely smart. His teacher has told me numerous times that he is the smartest and most kind child in the class. She is so impressed at how he learns and retains things. I have always worked hard to teach him and I believe that he learns very well. 

I have to say, though, it is very very hard sometimes to see that he is progressing. Some days he is the sweetest helper and so creative, and other days, like today, I am again searching the internet for answers to why he is the way he is. 

My son flies off the handle at little things. Concentration is a large hurtle. His temper is very short and he cannot do simple tasks. On the other hand, sometimes he does everything just perfect. 

It seems that large crowds or new people set off some of the “episodes”. I get so embarrassed sometimes. I know that people wish that I would “control” my child and make him listen. There is no way to get through sometimes. 

I hope that day to day, I will make a difference. I have quit my job to stay home with him (and his new sister) so that I may be able to redirect him a little at a time. I hope that I am able to make a positive change and impression in his life. Sometimes I feel like I am going one step ahead and ten steps back, but I am bound and determined to get through and let him know that I love him and he is still my little angel. 

I am also very determined not to have my son on medications. I know that this may be the wrong thing to say to some people, but I am going to do my best and hopefully this will affect him in the long run. 

I do pray to God a lot and thank him for such a gifted boy. I hope that all works out. 

Thanx for an outlet. I need it terribly some days, like today, when all I can do is cry after I put him to bed and pray that tomorrow will be better.