I’ve always had a problem with school. I struggled through high school and through college. I found myself on academic probation 4 times and suspended 3 times during college. I finally graduated, after receiving some help from family members.
I’m 27 years old now and I’m in the process of changing careers. I graduated in Parks and Recreation Management, as it was the only thing I could stay focused in long enough to complete. But Parks and Recreation is not what I wish to do with my life.
I’ve always felt responsible for everything. I’ve held numerous jobs, most not lasting more than 6 months, well, all of them not lasting more than 6 months. I get frustrated and feel as if I am going nowhere, so, I take this spontaneous leap of faith hoping to land on something new and exciting.
I have mood swings. I feel like I’m on a rollercoaster ride sometimes. I can’t keep a girlfriend, as “I’m not a very good listener”, and I’m trying to live my life in the non-ADD world.
I wasn’t introduced to what I might have, until my nephew was diagnosed with ADHD and was put on prescription medication for it. The doctors said that ADD is gene-oriented, meaning that someone else in the family carried the traits. It took a while for this to sink in that I might have a learning disability, but I read part of a book, (I have a hard time finishing books) called “Driven to Distraction“. It focuses on ADD in adults and how to deal with it.
Now, I’m trying to enter the law enforcement field, as I feel that I can keep my concentration on the subject. Knowing anything can happen at any moment, whether it be death or a chase keeps me flowing with energy. I’m not in the field yet, but I have been in the field before. I can’t finish a book, and have only read one book in my entire life all the way through. It was called “Who Stole My Cheese”, as I’ve had my cheese stolen (life changed) many times. I am terrible at taking tests, such as the Customs Service test. I can answer the questions correctly, all the ones that I can complete, but I run out of time. It takes 2 minutes for a person without ADD to read and answer the question. It takes me 4 minutes to read the question, understand it, and 10 secs to answer it. So, I run out of time, and fail the exam. That has been my life though.
Currently, I’m unemployed, trying to understand my life and move to whatever happens next. I get aggravated so easily, unless I’ve done my therapy for the weak…. lifted weights, ridden the rollercoaster of life, taken aleve for the headache I’ve given myself, and then cheered myself up with a video game or something I know I can accomplish easily…. I have to completely wear myself out in order to sleep. At my last job I was very good, as a park ranger. Because I liked my work, I was able to stay at work and volunteer with any projects for hours upon hours. Some days I would work from 8am to 12pm, nonstop with only 15 minutes taken out for lunch. But in the end, I would burn out. I had a good supervisor who was aware of how I worked and was able to work with me. I’m always thinking that there’s something else that can be added to make it better or the job is never complete. I can manage multiple tasks at once, and it drives non-ADD people crazy because they have to keep up…. As I was told at my last job… I think I’m better than what people take me for. I think if there was ever a way to keep myself focused, I could do some powerful work and make myself as big as I want to be. I don’t know what to do, as I can’t stay focused long enough to accomplish this, as I get frustrated with it. If anyone who reads this has any advice about what I should do, in order for me to go to therapy or take some medications, or just some advice, I would love to hear it. I’m jobless, just lost my girlfriend, again, and can’t stay focused to put myself back where I need to be. Other than doing my usual routine and wearing myself out completely, just to do it again, I’m really not accomplishing a lot.
Sincerely,
Lance