First I should say that I have never been diagnosed with ADD. I have talked several times with my doctor about having the disorder, but nothing has really come of it. I however, believe with every inch of my heart that I have ADD. My life is a total shamble of things that I have no control over that I should honestly be able to control. I constantly lose things. Right now I have absolutely no idea where my checkbook is (6/19/2002). For as long as I can remember I have been forgetful, awkward, anti-social, confused and in general not really with it. My finances are a mess, I can’t seem to find the right job and my social life is non-existent.
It just so happens that a couple of months ago I decided to join an inclusion workshop for work (I’m the Director at a daycare center). During the classes a woman came in and lectured on ADD and children. After the lecture I thought wow, this is what’s wrong with my five year old daughter. She is completely out of control. I then began to investigate the disorder and it began to dawn on me that she probably got it from me! I was aboslutely crushed. I was also relieved in a way because all the unsuccessful events of my life began to have a cause. I always knew that I wasn’t dumb, but I couldn’t seem to get it together and I was always confused or a day behind. But now it all seemed to make sense.
My life is still a mess, but now I understand why. I don’t fight the disorder as much as I used to. I do what I can, when I can. Sometimes I’m able to get myself back on track. I find when I eliminate a lot of disturbances from my life I get more accomplished. I also learned to take one thing at a time. Now understanding my disorder, I make it a point not to start new project unless I have finished the last. In a way it forces me to complete projects.
My major problem though is finding ways to be a good parent. I’m a single parent. And althoguth there are alot of sites about women with ADD none of them seem to address single parents. I believe that both of my children have been affected by ADD (one a daydreamer, like myself, the other hyperactive). I get SO frustrated with parenting that I times I just blow-up. My unpredictable moods make it difficult for me to give my children good coping skills. Sometimes I just want to cry. I constantly give them the same instructions over and over again. They never finish anything that they begin. The both find it difficult to follow through on tasks and just in general have HORRIBLE listening skills. It’s really unfair for them to live with me and eventually live like me. If anyone has any suggestions please email me. I would be ever grateful