Peter’s Story

A Man with good intentions

Upon reading all these stories about people who I don’t know, but can totally relate to I feel compelled to write a brief story on how ADD has affected my life. I feel like I have always been a man with good intentions. I am 39 years old, youngest of eight kids, 7-boys and one girl. I grew up very early in life and I was introduced to a lot of vices at an early age, I say this because I am sure my drug use conflicted with my diagnosis of ADD. I always had a difficult time in school and socializing with others. But, it was always faulted on either drugs or alcohol. I feel like I have stumbled through life with no plan. Oh, I knew that people who plan are much more successful in life. Oh, I thought that if I only tried a little harder I could get where I wanted to go. Well, it doesn’t work for us that way. Me stick to a plan, oh, I am great at making plans, ideas shoot through my head. But I could never formalize and execute any plans I laid out.

In 1996 I was yet in another relationship, coincidentally she had ADD, She was nice enough to explain to me and then she mentioned a book. Well, I being the crazed learner, “if stimulated”, I went straight to the library, Got the book “Driven to Distraction” and went through it like a hot knife through butter. My self-talk kept telling me, wow; this is I, with the various short stories in the book of how people are with ADD.

I started calling around and found a Therapist who would test me for ADD, that was in 1996. I went through some extensive testing, and what he found was I have various symptoms of ADD, leaning towards inattentive type. He told me I would do well with therapy and medication. He recommended a doctor who I was anxious to see. So I started to see this doctor and was prescribed Ritalin. I believe the Ritalin was helping me focus better, but of course there were still underlying problems to be addressed. I probably saw this doctor several times then the unthinkable happened. He tried to sell me on some type of pyramid scheme. Here I am trying to get help with a disorder and this guy sees me not as patient with ADD but as a salesman.

Well, I dropped him like a hot rock, never reported him to AMA or anything like that, and probably should have. Now why I didn’t seek another psychiatrist to treat me is, I can only say I must have got distracted. So, here I am 6 years later, after several more relationship breakups, business short comings and fiscal irresponsibility I find myself realizing that this is something that won’t go away and will only get worse without being treated. The only thing I believe I can do is learn to manage my ADD. I am writing this one day after my first appointment, when my doctor asked me what is wrong, I told him I don’t want to live the rest of my life with just good intentions.

On a more positive note, my ADD has brought me a wealth of accumulated information, I am a great conversationalist, snow skier, mountain biker, risk taker, entrepreneur and I guess a decent salesmen if my ex-psychiatrist was trying to recruit me to sell for him.

Well, I hope this story brings you uplifting feelings and you’ve come to realize now that you’re not alone.