Tam May’s Story

I’m 32 years old and I started thinking I had ADD about two years ago. Most of my life I’ve been “spacey” and unable to focus on anything for very long. When I was 14 I started writing and loved it. I wrote in journals, I wrote fiction, poetry, short stories, novellas, plays – you get the idea. Even today I always have a few projects going but can’t seem to finish one all the way through (except a few short stories). This extends to EVERY aspect of my life. At work I stare at piles of projects that are half finished (I work as a program assistant at a residential treatment center for kids). I’m a knitter and have several knitting projects on the backburner, none of them complete. My mind is always “on”, I’m always thinking and stressing over something and I can’t keep focused.

This morning I was taking a walk and observing my own thought process and it was amazing how even the sound of a bus behind me could distract me. Like many ADDers, I’ve never found peace in any particular job. I managed to make it through college and actually pulled a 3.0 average in English Lit. But the last 12 years I’ve been working in administrative support. I’ve had about 10 different jobs, most of which I have left for the same reasons a lot of ADDers have left jobs – frustration, boredom, the need to pursue something more meaningful. Right now I want to change careers. I desperately want to go to grad school in psychology and be a therapist. So now my mind has one more thing to obsess on.

On the bright side, reading the stories on this site and others and researching has made me feel better about how I am. I realize that my creativity and intuition are enhanced by my ADD. I really believe I could not have been a writer without it. I’m trying to see the positive aspects of the way I am, my lack of organization (to put it mildly…), my lack of focus, etc. Now I’m planning to take the next steps which is going to a physician and getting a diagnosis (I’m a little nervous about doctors…) and some therapeutic coaching as to how to be able to focus better and use my ADD traits for better things.