Liz’s Story

Currently I am 30 years old, and I am torn, better yet weeping. In the first grade I was testing beyond what is college level yet bored with everything. Through out my years I found it difficult to concentrate an it was addled by parents who for the sake of saying, lets say they could not deal.At times I was called stupid and I was hit, it I could have only made it through a paragraph or a book. My father, who was teaching advanced college mathematics would often become frustrated at the way I would not get things as fast as he wanted to see it. My mother helpfully pitched in when it came to hitting me. I had an uncanny ability to comprehend advanced quantum and mechanical physics, even the curiosity to take things apart. THis was all by the third grade. I found it difficult to keep my attention to what the instructor was saying and often tomes found myself easily distracted. I would be failing basic mathematics but found my father’s advanced calculus books too boring and would create my own math problems when I was not satisfied.I also liked to draw and found myself sensitive to other’s feelings and liking to create. It only got worse.

Fast forward to age 19 where I dropped out of college twice and became more irritated by service oriented jobs ( about the only thing I had the experience for) I had changed jobs 3 times. Fast forward to 28 where I dropped out of school once, 29 once again. All in all I have dropped out of school more than four times. I am simply bored with college. But heres the catch. I have been Diagnosed with severe ADD/ADHD and Manic disorder. I am now bored in my studies… I do not know what to do, I like science but I would be bored in a field where I am not able to create. I also have no husband, no children and no career.. I simply have no clue what to do with my life. I start many things at once and do not finish them. I am feeling not only the pressure from my ‘biological clock’ to hurry up get married and have children, but have a carrer. within one year at age 29 I changed careers 5 times.

I am not medicated, but I might offer up if I see no solution in sight. I wonder if I have to suck it up and try to be ‘normal’. I have hardly any friends, no interpersonal relationships, hate the structure of the work place, am annoyed easily, and have no connection whatsoever from my parents. I simply do not have 145.00 an hour to see some psychologist or have the money to shell out for medications. As a result form the beginning of the paragraph, I am a survivor of child abuse. I am wondering though, is there anything for us to do as careers. Like given names. I have heard time and time again, ” you should be in a place where you can create” or “you should go into buisness for yourself” but if one is horrible and misplaced full and impulsive with money, how in the world DO I run my own business….. if anyone knows the NAMES of carers, feel free to email me…. and remember, Albert Einstein had the same ‘disorder’ I am thinking more like a gift.