Living with ADD makes it a constant day to day struggle to effectively function in a practical world.
For years i couldn’t understand what was wrong with me and neither could people around me!
My mother, in her european peasant-like manner, ridiculed me with negative reciprocation my whole life & had often said i “run around like chicken vit no head!!”. My current manager perceives me as a disorganized, lazy, naive ditz. I’ve been subjected to his short temper numerous times because i can’t seem to “grasp” things he’s explained to me.
For most of the day i’m a nervous, anxious bummer of a woman. My waking moments are accompanied by various cluttered thoughts going on in my mind at once. When it comes to reading/studying, Focusing can be so difficult that 1O minutes into it i have to take a nap.
I’m such a scatter brain, i lost my wallet on one occasion and my purse two days later. I left my purse on the bus while i was trying to sort and shuffle my thoughts in my head after an argument with a friend. (I never got it back) However, to normals i appear to be a space cadet/airhead.
Two weeks earlier i was out shopping and i insisted on holding my friend’s shopping bag. i forgot it in a restaurant, then again on the counter of a convenience store an hour later!!
When all that happened in a matter of three weeks i knew i had a problem, this was NOT normal behaviour! I resented myself for my defective brain that bombarded me with problems a functioning person dosent deal with.
Life is hard enough without ADD.
I am conscious of it EVERY DAY. My thought process consists of a cloud-like wall- it takes concentration to diminish it and think clearly. As a cashier, a simple task like handling transactions goes along with a fear that i’m going to mess up.
Living with ADD has taken a toll on my self esteem and goes hand in hand with depression. I find myself envious of my cat because being a part of the human race with a bad case of ADD can, on bad days, feel hopeless…!
Writing this has exhausted me…. must.. go.. to sleep… and dreeammmmmf,fjglkjfda\’ddkkkkkkkkkkkfjggggg
HELPP.