Liz’s ADD / ADHD Story

I just recently started thinking that I might have ADD. I was hesitant at first to even go to the doctor because I have heard a lot of stories about kids my age(21) who buy adderall and other ADD meds off other people and take them to cram before exams. I went to the doctor and she told me to go take an evaluation, I haven’t done that yet but plan to.

I started researching ADD on the internet and it has completely blown my mind how much everything seems to fit. I have ALWAYS, since I can first remember felt like something was wrong with me. I was always in trouble as a child, not really in school but with my parents. I was always told I was just extremely stubborn. I am extremely creative and I love to draw and do art work and also sing. I am horrible at Math and always have been. And I’ve always struggled paying attention in the classes that I don”t like.

I developed very low self esteem and have struggled with that for many years now. I started to think that I was depressed I started taking medicine for that but the medicine didn’t really work for me. Now I realize that the only reason I felt depressed is because i was so frustrated with myself. I felt lazy and worthless, I am disorganized and extremely messy, I am compulsive( I switched colleges without telling anyone that I was going to do it, I’ve had numerous jobs that I have just stopped going to, I have problems making and keeping friends…I’ll have good friends for about a year and then something will happen and we won’t speak anymore. ) I used to beat myself up about all these things all the time, I didn’t understand why I couldn’t just be more outgoing and keep friends, why I could never seem to keep my room clean, why I could organize myself for 1 day and then fall out of it the next. I couldn’t understand why everyone else seemed to have an easy time doing things that were so difficult for me.

I knew I wasn’t normal but I couldn’t figure out what caused it. I never understood that this disorder was not just for hyper kids or kids who can’t pay attention in class. There is so much more to it, and I wish other people knew that because I truly believe there are a lot more people out there who struggle with the same things I have been struggling with for years and who just don’t know what it is.