All my life I have been completely different than anyone one I know. Thought differently, learned differently, acted differently, ect, ect.
My mother is alot like me, real street smart and witty. My father is a no kidding genius.(like 175 I.Q.) How my mom, and dad ever got along is beyond me. My dad is republican white collar, hot shot executive type. Mom is blue collar work horse. The only things they had in common were that they were both scrappers from bad neighborhoods, and that they were attractive people.
When I was finally old enough to go to school it turned into a nightmare real quick. I have never passed a single grade past kindergarten. Alot of the school councilors thought I was mentally retarded. Some of the few teachers that actually knew me would deny it. My mother, being the strong woman she was, went to the school to battle constantly.
My father being the man he was, became infuriated. His only son couldn’t be handicapped. The household got real ugly. I was labeled as having a disciplinary problems at school. Not much was even known about ADD at the time.
My father would lock me in his home office, and say I couldn’t leave until my homework was completed. At about midnight I would still be sitting there staring at the walls, when he would tell me to go to bed. I started to receive “physical discipline” because now it was an issue of direct disobedience, not incapability.
Such was life. I would directly defy teachers at that point. Because having a disciplinary problem was easier to explain than being incapable. My father didn’t view me as being a disgrace anymore because he saw me as being a hard ass, not stupid.
The teachers were losing their minds. I would hear what they were saying and memorize it. When it came to test time I would ace it, but I would carry a zero for the homework. This worked in my favor towards the end of the year. My parents could prove that I knew the material with my test scores. However I was cocky and belligerent to all the staff. Under much duress and threats of law suits the school system would place me into the next grade.
My parents divorced, and finally after a 2 year custody battle it was decided that I would live with my father. My kid sister remained with my mother. My sister, coincidently was on the honor role every year. When I moved in with pops I had to go see a shrink. Took tons of tests and spent the next year heavily medicated. I didn’t really care much. To me it was like “Drugs Cool”.
Finally I met a school hired psychologist that actually understood what was going on. I was invited to attend her weekly group for “Problemed Children”. I was referred to her by the school because of my police record and attendance and bla bla bla.
I loved it. Every week me and her went round and round. At first me and her would really have it out. I was smart and sharp as razors. I would turn the group against her when she made me angry. We challenged each other, but what it really came down to was that she actually cared about us. Then I finally realized something, I cared about the group too. pretty scary. I had been so used to slamming others so people wouldn’t see that I couldn’t focus on anything. I would get livid when someone would ask me to explain myself, because I didnt even know how I got to where I was. I went through life on instinct, now I was challenging my defence mechanisms. Hard times.
I eventually started seeing her as a patient outside the school. I went through a bunch of medication for ADD nothing helped a lot until I was prescribed Cylert. (only thing that works for me) I dropped out of school anyway. I was a Junior taking Freshman classes. I would have been like 22 when I graduated. Got my GED and passed 97% higher than anyone who took the test for that year.
My life is on track at this point. I joined the Marines after I got my GED. I thrived in the military. Honorably Discharged after a very successful tour. Everyone is very proud at everything I have accomplished.
I have a daughter on the way and a beautiful girlfriend who has been by my side for the last 2 years. She knows how I think and compensates for my shortcomings. doesn’t pressure me, but encourages me. She knows the horrible things I am capable of, and seen the people I have hurt. (Including herself) Yet still trusts.
I am currently helping my family with their ADD. My younger brother (the baby) is starting to follow the same trend I was in. My mother is starting to realize how much she is ADD. Slowly Im educating them at a pace they can digest, but they are coming around though.
In closing I will say that at my lowest points I always remind myself. sometimes you have to take a step back to go two steps forward. Iv seen good people do bad tings and bad people do good things. Life isnt always fair so make the best of bad times, and savor the good ones.
Take care, and God bless