I AM THE LOVING YET FRUSTRATED MOTHER OF A BEAUTIFUL 7 YEAR OLD BOY NAMED TYLER, WHOM AT THE EARLY AGE OF 5 WAS SINGLED OUT FOR HIS OUTBURST ANSWERS AND INABILITY TO STAY ON TASK. HIS TEACHER AT THAT POINT WAS TOO OVERWHELMED WITH TY AND CONSTANTLY PUT HIM IN THE TIME OUT CHAIR, WHERE OF COURSE THE OTHER CHILDREN WOULD TAUNT HIM. HE WOULD HAVE FULL BLOWN BREAK DOWNS OUT OF NO WHERE SAY AFTER DINNER OR AT AT STORE, HE WOULD PUT HIMSELF DOWN AND SAY HE WANTED TO DIE. HE WAS CONSTANTLY PHYSICALLY ILL, SO HE MISSED ALOT OF SCHOOL THAT YEAR. MOVIN ON TO 1ST GRADE WHERE WE ARE BLESSED WITH A TEACHER WHO SEES TY\’S ABILITY AND STRENGTHS AND ASSURES US EVEN AS WE ARE SITTING AT THE BOARD OF ED REVIEW TO DETERMINE IF TY NEEDS SPECIAL ED, THAT WE\’RE GONNA MAKE IT THRU. AT THIS POINT THEY EVALUATE HIM, STUDY HIM IN CLASS AND THE OUTCOME IS THAT TY HAS ADD.
AFTER WATCHING MY LITTLE BROTHER GO THRU RITALIN REGIMENS AND DOWNERS AND UPPERS TO NOTHING ON THE WEEKENDS OR VACATIONS, TO END UP SPIRALING DOWN TO THE BOTTOM AND STILL AT 22 NOT BEING ABLE TO GET BACK UP, I WAS COMPLETLY BLOWN OFF MY FEET. I CRIED, I BLAMED MYSELF, MY GENES, A LACK OF SOMETHING IN HIS DIET, TOO MUCH SUGAR, TOO MUCH YELLING, TOO MUCH TV, SHOULD I EVEN BOTHER GOING ON?
ALL THE BOOKS THERE ARE TO SUPPORT YOU TAKE DIFFERENT ANGLES ON BEHAVIOR MODIFICATIONS, DIET SUPPLEMENTS, MEDS, CHARTS AND GRAPHS AND REWARDS. AND YET THRU ALL THIS I FELT LIKE I WAS EARNING A DEGREE IN ADD. WE HAD ALREADY HAD A CHORE CHART WITH ALLOWANCE REWARDS, A STEADY ROUTINE, QUIET TIME FOR HIM TO GET HIS HEAD TOGETHER, CRAZY TIME FOR HIM TO GO BLOW OFF SOME OF HIS BOTTLED ENERGY. WE WERE DEFINITELY STABILIZING. THEN WE BOUGHT A HOUSE THAT SUMMER, MOVED TO A NEW NEIGHBORHOOD, AND A NEW SCHOOL FOR TY. NEEDLESS TO SAY THE FIRST TEACHER CONFERENCE WAS ONE OF THE SAME FROM ONES PAST. THIS TIME WE NAILED TY DOWN, KARATE, CHORE LIST , LIMITED TV/AND OR VIDEO GAMES, THE TEACHER WHO CODED THE CHILDREN\’S DAYS BY COLORS, SPLIT TY\’S DAY IN HALF SO WE COULD GET A GRASP ON IF THERE WAS A TIME OF THE DAY THAT WAS BAD FOR HIM, VITAMIN B6 REGIMEN, TIME WITH MY HUSBAND AND I ONE ON ONE (WHICH WAS THE HARDEST SINCE TY IS ONE OF FOUR CHILDREN), LOOKING HIM IN THE EYE WHEN HE DISCUSSED SOMETHING WITH US, EVEN IF IT WAS SPIDER MAN COMICS. AND THIS WENT OKAY UNTIL WE HIT CHRISTMAS VACATION OR A LONG WEEKEND, THEN WE HAD TO START GETTING BACK TO THE ROUTINE IN SCHOOL, AND THE FIRST WEEK BACK WOULD BE HORRIBLE. WE FEEL LIKE WE\’VE TRAVELED UPHILL AND SLID FACE DOWN THE SAME HILL.WE DO SEE SOME PROMISE IN SMALL AMOUNTS.
I FELT SECURE ENOUGH IN MYSELF TO TALK TO SOME COLLEAGUES AT WORK ABOUT IT, TO FIND OUT THAT 3 OUT OF 5 WERE GOING THRU THE SAME EXACT THING WITH THIER SCHOOL AGE SONS. HE IS NOT THE HARDEST PERSON IN THE WORLD ON HIMSELF ANYMORE, I DON\’T BLAME MYSELF, I DON\’T BREAK DOWN WHEN I GET A CALL HOME FROM THE TEACHER, I STRESS, DON\’T GET ME WRONG, I JUST DON\’T FEEL HELPLESS ANYMORE. MANY, MANY YEARS AHEAD OF OUR TIME I HOPE TO GOD THAT SOMEONE STOPS SAYING THE SAME THING ABOUT CHILDREN WITH ADD, AND ALLOW THEM TO STRETCH OUT, IF TY HAD THE TOOLS HE COULD DO AMAZING THINGS, BUT HE\’S BEING HELD DOWN WITH NEGATIVE REACTION, SUGGESTIONS OF MEDICATIONS, AND LACK OF PATIENCE. MAYBE WITH MY INVISIBLE DEGREE AND 18 ADD BOOKS UNDER MY BELT, IT COULD BE ME.