Tracy’s Story

Well, where to begin. I was a “dream” child to my parents growing up as I am told as I was extremely attentive, played on my own without bothering anyone as my imagination allowed me to entertain myself for hours. Later as I entered grade school, I was called in during the summer months, and much to the delight of my folks, it turns out I had very high I.Q., and was asked to participate in a new program (Enrichment) which was new then and very exclusive. I was “off the charts” on most of the tests.

My Mother claimed the reason was “I had grown up around adults more than children, and hence had a better understanding of most things children my age.” Those were the GREAT years, as I was simply a huge sponge taking in everything around me as everything was “new” and facinating to me. Much praise and attention was heaped upon me, and my parents were the happiest parents in the world. Then I turned 12….I believe now that puberty had nothing to do with it, and that the “positive” parts of my life were as much to blame on A.D.D. as the parts after.

After 6th grade, I became an entirely different person. L.A.Z.Y. was how my Dad put it. I was cast out of the enrichment program, and looked upon with much doubt as a student as I didn’t complete assignments, nearly failed all my classes, and generally sought attention through being notorious, rather than being a good student. In fact, I was denied graduating with my class as I was 1/2 credit short. My social studies teacher failed me with a 69, when a 70 was passing. But then, “just getting by” was what I seemed to do best.

Also, advanced mathmatics were a huge problem, as learning new formulas in algebra didn’t appeal to me. I always attempted to apply what was “known”. Later, my life was a train wreck as getting to work on time, daydreaming, and staying up all night affected any job which I tried. Office job? Worthless, I can’t focus while sitting at a desk. Labor? Not good, routine brainless jobs leave me unfulfilled and not worth getting up for. My relationships have been a poor sublect as well. I get bored with someone whom is “nice”, rather seeking “wild” and somewhat “out of reach” as I have to focus on bettering myself, changing myself to win the attention of this person, rather than settling on someone whom truly appreciates me for just being myself.

The “light at the end of the tunnel” from all this my life today. I work at a casino where I absolutely shine. I am a dealer in Table Games. The games by themselves are challenging to deal “well”, meaning smooth, fluid and turning it into an art form. Then there’s meeting people, and all of the psychology associated with making them all feel special, as well as being entertaining and clever. My love life has improved as well. My girlfriend has A.D.D. as well, and it is based more on a “best friends” approach rather than conventional ideals.

We both live independently, but both are there for each other to share our joys and frustrations. Neither of us are “jealous”, as we, the ADD do not do well in jealous relationships. We are both very outgoing, and get LOTS of attention while we’re out as most people live in a closed minded existence “putting up with” someone rather than truly appreciating themselves, and at the same time appreciating their significant other while both encourage and love one another. My name is Tracy, I am 38, and I my friend am an A.D.D. survivor.