Elizabeth’s Story

I’m 22 and have never been diagnosed with ADHD but have always known that I was different than my friends. My mom once was told I was border line hyperactive but never looked more into it. Some time along the way of growing up it was thrown around that I was ADHD.

In school I had tons of problems that I hid well. My grades where average so no flags were thrown up to my teachers but I knew something was different. I was in high school and had trouble with simple math, my handwriting was horrible, and the harder I would work in school the more stressed I would get causing my grades to dip lower instead of getting higher. I soon found a way to slide by and graduated high school with seemingly no problems to the worlds eye, but I knew better.

The fall after high school I started college where big problems hit. I could not keep up with my teachers and they just thought I was lazy for not doing my work. I managed to pass some classes but life was a mess. I ended up dropping out of school as a rash decision that no one understood and I was to ashamed to try to explain to them that I just felt that I wasn’t smart enough and I would continue to fail at if I had stayed in.

Life from there got worse I moved from job to job trying to find one that I did not feel was a waste of my time. I moved in and out of my parents house because I wanted my independence, but I would mess up with my bills when I was on my own. No matter what I did I just could not seem to get it together to be what I considered a responsible adult. I began to feel that the dreams I had for myself were a waste, and boy did I have big dreams. Relationships never worked out because if my moods did not run them off my so called “crazy” behavior did. This was with boyfriend’s and friends alike. In my mind I felt as though they couldn’t keep up.

I find my self day dreaming and thinking through a scenario and then being disappointed when it does not work out that way. After so much of this I started trying to stop myself from hoping knowing it would just bring disappointment in the end. My emotions play a big role in why I began to realize there has to be something really wrong. I feel as though no matter what I do I am always letting down those around me so I act as though I don’t care when I do with all of my heart. When someone points out something I did wrong at work or in life I either fight back tears or become defensive. I say things I don’t mean because I don’t think them through all though I try to make a conscious effort to. This in it self puts my relationships in jeopardy. I have trouble opening up to others because I feel there is no way they can understand what is going on in my mind or see it the same way I do. I often feel others are annoyed by my constant talking and over dramatic reactions to things. In the past few months I have began the search of others like me and how to move on from all of this. That is why I’m sharing my story to let others know they are not alone.

Comment by Deidre on May 19, 2013 at 2:10pm

No, “we are not alone”.

Comment by Roy S on June 7, 2012 at 9:44pm

Hi I’m 59 and recently diagnosed with Adult ADD. My god , your story was written about me. I lived what you wrote about some 55 yrs ago until now. The medications were helping but had to stop as i couldnt tolerate them. Thank you. It is so nice to know i am not alone and not ” A Weirdo” as some people state when dealing with mental health issues.

Comment by Hien Thu N on May 10, 2012 at 8:27pm

i understand how that is! i dropped out of high school at the end of my senior yr b/c of failing my math exit exam.. i thought that i would never get my diploma but i did! it takes a lot of effort for people that don’t know how is to have add to get through things.. you got to keep on going.

Comment by Big booty judy on December 20, 2011 at 2:06am

I absolutely relate to the detailed dynamics of your post. My concerns, people and their annoyance re:constant talking and dramatic reactions to things. I truly am beginning to appreciate these stories/posts and found myself relating to your reflections throughout the read. Thank you